Exposé: Project Naad's Anti-Gurmat Views on Relationships

In the past year or so a website has emerged called “Project Naad” (www.projectnaad.com). This website claims to be a charitable organization which is committed to “producing high quality freely distributable content for propagating the Sikh way of life.” Project Naad states that the content of their website is intended for university students, Gurdwaras and Interfaith work. The same group are very much linked or part of the Sikh Student Camp since 2007.

The Project Naad team members are sewadars at the Chigwell Sikh Student Camp and were even invited to do a presentation to campers about Project Naad mission at last week’s Sikh Student Camp 2008.

Project Naad team dancing at clubs.

Panthic Weekly last month exposed Project Naad for supporting Dera Jhoota Sauda and writing against the Sikh Panth who is seeking justice. It is apparent that Project Naad is doing anti-Panthic and anti-Gurmat parchaar in the guise of Sikhi. This week Panthic Weekly exposes some of the subtle anti-Gurmat propaganda contained within the Project Naad leaflets, articles and statements from them on forums. Panthic Weekly presents the objectionable statements written by the Project Naad website with replies from the Gurmat perspective (kindly provided by ‘Sikh Answers’ and others):

PROJECT NAAD’S VIEW ON RELATIONSHIPS OUTSIDE MARRIAGE

"Whether a person chooses to date or not, is up to the individual. The important thing is the intention behind a relationship. Is the intention love or lust?"
(Project Naad “Common Misconceptions By Baptised Sikhs” Leaflet)

“2. Is it okay for young Sikhs to have girl friends/ boy friends? Give reasons for why / why not?
-- This issue is often blown well out of proportion. Of course, it is acceptable for a Sikh to have a girl/boy friend. However, the relationship should not be sexual.”
(Project Naad “Workshop Worksheet 10 - Answers” on “Marriage and Relationships”)

Gurbani says:

ਪਰ ਤ੍ਰਿਅ ਰੂਪੁ ਨ ਪੇਖੈ ਨੇਤ੍ਰ ॥
“The eyes should not gaze upon the beauty of another women.”
(Ang 274)

Friendship with the opposite sex is not prohibited. However, to go beyond the lines of innocent friendship would be contrary to Gurmat.

ਦੇਖਿ ਪਰਾਈਆਂ ਚੰਗੀਆਂ ਮਾਵਾਂ ਭੈਣਾਂ ਧੀਆਂ ਜਾਣੈ ॥
"Men should look at the opposite gender as mothers, sisters and daughters, (women should look at the opposite gender as fathers, brothers and sons)."
(Bhâî Gurdâs: Vâr 29/ Paurî 11)

There is no if or but about dating or seeing the opposite gender in any other light other than one’s own sister or brother. Intimate relationships at any level are harmful – whether it is physical intimacy or emotional one.

PROJECT NAAD’S VIEW ON FLIRTING, KISSING AND HUGGING GIRLS OR BOYS

“3. If you do have a girl friend/ boy friend what is acceptable behaviour e.g. going out together, kissing, hugging etc.

-- Sex before marriage is the only thing which is not allowed. Doing anything you would do with your friends of the same sex is acceptable like going to a restaurant, cinema, bowling, swimming, town etc.”
(Project Naad “Workshop Worksheet 10 - Answers” on “Marriage and Relationships”)

“12. What do you think about the Indian Love Manual?
-- This is an excellent manual to the sexual arts which lead to heightened levels of consciousness when used by two spiritual beings with the correct consciousness.”
(Project Naad “Workshop Worksheet 10 - Answers” on “Marriage and Relationships”)

ਪਰ ਬੇਟੀ ਕੋ ਬੇਟੀ ਜਾਨੈ ॥ ਪਰ ਇਸਤਰੀ ਕੋ ਮਾਤ ਬਖਾਨੈ ॥
ਅਪਨੀ ਇਸਤਰੀ ਸੋ ਰਤ ਹੋਈ ॥ ਰਹਿਤਵਾਨ ਗੁਰੁ ਕਾ ਸਿੰਘ ਸੋਈ ॥
"Consider another's daughter as your daughter. Consider another woman as your mother. Love only your own wife. Such a person is the Guru's disciplined Sikh."

(Note: The Guru's instructions also apply to females and who would consider another person's son as their own son and another man as their father etc)

Guru Gobind Singh Ji says:

ਨਿਜ ਨਾਰੀ ਕੇ ਸਾਥ ਨੇਹੁ ਤੁਮ ਨਿੱਤ ਬਢੈਯਹੁ ॥
ਪਰ ਨਾਰੀ ਕੀ ਸੇਜ ਭੂਲਿ ਸੁਪਨੇ ਹੂੰ ਨ ਜੈਯਹੁ ॥
"Love your own wife more and more, but never touch another woman’s bed either by mistake or even in dream. Know that the love of another’s wife is like a sharp dagger".
(Dasam Granth, Part-11, p-842)

Gurbani says:

ਨਿਮਖ ਕਾਮ ਸੁਆਦ ਕਾਰਣਿ ਕੋਟਿ ਦਿਨਸ ਦੁਖੁ ਪਾਵਹਿ ॥
ਘਰੀ ਮੁਹਤ ਰੰਗ ਮਾਣਹਿ ਫਿਰਿ ਬਹੁਰਿ ਬਹੁਰਿ ਪਛੁਤਾਵਹਿ ॥੧॥
"For a moment of sexual pleasure, you shall suffer in pain for millions of days. For an instant, you may savour pleasure, but afterwards, you shall regret it, again and again. ||1||"
(Ang 405)

Intimate relationships at any level are harmful – whether it is physical intimacy or emotional one. Intimacy on any level (physical or emotional) should be restricted to one's husband or wife, who are one's committed life partners. If you send texts, emails or chat to someone on MSN or over the phone and you feel embarrassed and ashamed if someone else reads the text, email or heard the conversation, then that tells you that you shouldn't be doing it. One should remember that God is always watching us and therefore live in the fear & love of God.

When you form a friendship - be it a friendship with the same sex or a platonic one to a member of the opposite sex (or if you’re married think about the relationship that you have with your spouse). They usually have the same foundation which is you sharing something in common with that person which helps the relationship flourish. It could be having the same lame sense of humour, your passion of eating and burping together…whatever - its that ‘something in common’ which lets you form a close relationship.

So if the starting of all three relationships is the same what stops a platonic friendship turning into romance or lust? After all it’s based on the same ingredients – you’ll grow to admire, depend and trust each other – something you would also hope to share with your prospective partner. It’s so easy for it to turn into romance that it’s best not to dwell on it in the first place. “One ounce of prevention is better than a pound’s cure.”

ਹੇ ਕਾਮੰ ਨਰਕ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮੰ ਬਹੁ ਜੋਨੀ ਭ੍ਰਮਾਵਣਹ ॥
ਚਿਤ ਹਰਣੰ ਤ੍ਰੈ ਲੋਕ ਗੰਮ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਜਪ ਤਪ ਸੀਲ ਬਿਦਾਰਣਹ ॥
ਅਲਪ ਸੁਖ ਅਵਿਤ ਚੰਚਲ ਊਚ ਨੀਚ ਸਮਾਵਣਹ ॥
ਤਵ ਭੈ ਬਿਮੁੰਚਿਤ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗਮ ਓਟ ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਰਾਇਣਹ ॥੪੬॥

"O sexual desire, you lead the mortals to hell; you make them wander in reincarnation through countless species. You cheat the consciousness, and pervade the three worlds. You destroy meditation, penance and virtue. But you give only shallow pleasure, while you make the mortals weak and unsteady; you pervade the high and the low. Your fear is dispelled in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, O Nanak, through the Protection and Support of the Lord. ||46||"
(Ang 1358)

PROJECT NAAD’s VIEW ON HOMOSEXUAL MARRIAGES

"Marriage in Sikhism is the merger of two souls into one. So in theory there would be no reason why a homosexual marriage would be prohibited in Sikhism. However as with all the other major 'faith' communities this is a topic of continuing debate."
(Project Naad “Sikhism & Sexuality” Leaflet)

Those who have an issue with sexuality preference should be encouraged to direct their mind away from flirting with their own sexuality. Let it go. When ever these thoughts come up, they should direct their mind to meditate on "WaheGuru". People should be encouraged to develop their capacity as a "God man" rather than a "gay man".
There is no such thing as same sex marriages in the Sikh Gurdwara.
According to the Sikh Rehit Maryada, the Anand Karaj (Sikh marriage) can only be between a Sikh man and woman only. Sexual relationship can only be between the couple married under the Anand Karaj maryada. Denouncing the practice of same-sex marriages, Jathedar of Akal Takht, issued a directive with the seal of Sri Akaal Takht Sahib that prohibited any Gurdwara in the world to hold such ceremonies. Jathedar Giani Joginder Singh Vedanti described same sex marriages as an ‘anti-Gurmat’ trend that had no place in Sikhism.

ਸੋ ਸਿਖੁ ਸਖਾ ਬੰਧਪੁ ਹੈ ਭਾਈ ਜਿ ਗੁਰ ਕੇ ਭਾਣੇ ਵਿਚਿ ਆਵੈ ॥
ਆਪਣੈ ਭਾਣੈ ਜੋ ਚਲੈ ਭਾਈ ਵਿਛੁੜਿ ਚੋਟਾ ਖਾਵੈ ॥
ਬਿਨੁ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਸੁਖੁ ਕਦੇ ਨ ਪਾਵੈ ਭਾਈ ਫਿਰਿ ਫਿਰਿ ਪਛੋਤਾਵੈ ॥੧॥
"He alone is a Sikh, a friend, a relative and a sibling, who walks in the Way of the Guru's Will. One who walks according to his own will, O Siblings of Destiny, suffers separation from the Lord, and shall be punished. Without the True Guru, peace is never obtained, O Siblings of Destiny; again and again, he regrets and repents. ||1||"
(Ang 601)

Guru Sahib gave Sikhs Hukam (Order). Hukam and Rehit (discipline) put boundaries on our behaviour. We all need discipline in life. Some may say why we do you stop people from smoking, you do not believe they are equal to you? But reality is everyone is equal, but as a Gursikhs, we choose a 'Niraala Panth' (a Distinct Path). The 'Niraala panth' is defined by Rehit and Hukam.

Marriage is two souls merging into one. However even this union which is not based on Kaam (lust), but love, respect and within Gurmat, even that is also temporary. The true Union is between a person and Akaal - this is permanent. When one achieves that union, everything else is put into perspective and is incomparable. Even if a person is naturally homosexual, as one cannot become one, or a person is heterosexual and full of lust (Kaam) or not, and lives as a true disciple of Guru, all of them should search for this 'true union', because without it there is no way to quench their thirst. To obtain this union, one has to forsake all, and live in the discipline of Gurmat Rehit (discipline in accordance to the Guru's Way), and have a longing for the Darshan, Blessed Vision, of Waheguru.

Panthic Weekly urges the UK Sangat to be cautious of anti-Panthic and anti-Gurmat groups targeting the youth and wider Sangat through discreet Parchaar. Project Naad supports Snaatan view of Sikhi that is propagated and supported by UK Nangs (Neo-Nihang) and the RSS.

In addition to this, the same questionable website has shown open support and is part of the controversial UK Sikh Student Camp (Chigwell, England) that has faced many issues such as promoting watered down version of Sikhi, serious allegations of misconduct with campers, over-friendliness of camp sevadars with campers, and controversial anti-panthic individuals funding the camp. Project Naads statements and parchaar on sexuality and relationships has exposed its true face.