Dowry

Dowry is amount of money or property that the bride’s parents give with their daughter once she gets married. The original meaning of the dowry was to provide some financial support for the bride in a case of possible unfortunate events such as divorce, death of her husband, or simply a helpful financial base the new family needs. In fact, dowry system has become more of a “bride-price” system. The parents of a girl, when she is yet a baby, begin to save money to ensure a respectable dowry. If a good dowry is not made, the girl is unlikely to get a good “match.” Sometimes, none of the girl’s personal values are taken in consideration; her family’s budget is placed higher when she is being considered. Girls are considered a burden on her parents’ family because they worry about dowry and wedding expenses of their daughter. Dowry worries become a cause for abortion when the mother-to-be discovers that she is carrying a female baby. Also, there are situations when groom’s family takes the bride’s dowry and uses it entirely for their needs, or recycles it for the groom’s sisters’ dowry. In these cases, the bride does not benefit from the dowry at all. Sometimes, a groom’s family demand more dowry from the bride’s family after marriage. Threats of divorce are often used. If the bride’s parents are not able to fork over anymore money, the girl will be sent home in shame (she is no longer a virgin), or killed in an “accident.”

Gurmat view of dowry

In sikhi all our souls are seen as the soul-brides and God is seen as the husband. When our soul merges back with waheguru is also described as a wedding.

O my father (Waheguru), please give me the Name of the Lord God as my wedding gift and dowry. Any other dowry, which the self-willed manmukhs offer for show, is only false egotism and a worthless display. ANG 78 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

Some rich families show of thier wealth by giving a large dowry. Guru Ji condemns this.

Those who swindle money from their daughters and sisters will receive heavy punishment from the Angels of Death". Rehatnama Bhai Nand Laal Jee

Sikhs are not to sell their daughters or sisters. Alot of people put their daughters and sisters in to sex work to fufill thier needs. from this rehatnama it is clear that dowry is totally against Sikhi.

To take what rightfully belongs to another, is like a Muslim eating pork, or a Hindu eating beef. ANG 141 Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji

How the dowry System leads to misery!

The dowry culture is largely responsible for domestic violence. It is a curse for our social life. Women become victims of unbearable harassment due to the force of dowry system in society. Most of the time the sufferers are housewives. Many innocent women fall victim to this brutal system and their lives become miserable.

Greed of dowry leaves her paralysed Kanchan VasdevTribune News Service
Ludhiana, January 25

A 26-year-old dowry victim may not be able to walk for life. A nursery teacher, Pooja, was allegedly pushed from the third storey of her in-laws house as her parents were not able to accede to the in-laws’ ‘‘ever-growing’’ demands for more dowry.

Having fractured her backbone, legs and arms after the fall, Pooja is lying paralysed in DMC Hospital unable to move any part of her body. Hoping against hope that she will be able to walk in future, Pooja keeps on blubbering to all visitors, ‘‘Do not give birth to a daughter. She will be killed for a house or a car.’’

In her statement to the police, Pooja alleged that she was pushed from the third floor on December 30 when she had gone upstairs to clean the house. She was rushed to Ram Charitable Hospital from where she was referred to the trauma centre of DMC Hospital. The police has registered a case against her husband, Gagan Thakkar, her mother-in-law, Sumitra, father-in-law Gian Chand and her sisters-in-law under Sections 307, 498 A and 34 of the IPC.

Talking to The Tribune at the hospital, she alleged that she was married to Gagan Thakkar of Mishra Chowk in 2003. It was a love-cum- arranged marriage. ‘‘Soon after my marriage, my in-laws had started torturing me for a car. I took Rs 50,000 also after they demanded Rs 2 lakh. But this did not satiate their hunger for money.’’

She was allegedly sent back to her parents house at Chauri Sarak in Bajra Mohalla a number of times. She gave birth to a daughter a year after her marriage but the girl died after she was not provided proper medical care as a daughter's birth was not a happy occasion for her in-laws’ family.

After staying for some months at her parents' house she had been sent to her in-laws following perusal of the case by some responsible citizens. She went in September last year and fell on December 30. Since then she has been battling between life and death.
‘‘Doctors say I will not be able to walk for six months. I do not know whether I will be able to do so ever or not. I cannot feel my legs. The only hope is that I can feel my hands when I touch my legs. ’’ she said, while crying bitterly.

Mr Prem Kumar, her father a cloth merchant, said he had spent Rs 14 lakh on her wedding thinking her in-laws would be happy with her. But things did not go her way. She was allegedly told to bring a car and buy a house.

He alleged that though the police registered a case against the accused after they staged protests after the incident. ‘‘But the police is not arresting the accused following political pressure from a senior Congress leader. They are even trying to spare the accused by levelling counter-allegations against us,’’ said her father.

The police said the accused were not arrested because senior officials had ordered an inquiry into the case. The accused had counter-alleged that she had jumped on her own following marital discord and was now levelling all kinds of allegations against them. ‘‘We will take action after the inquiry is completed. ’’

Dowry demands can be offensive and lead to voilence

Vikram Chowdhary
Friday, October 26, 2007 (Patiala)

A doctor, who came from the US to get married in Patiala, has ended up in jail for demanding dowry but not before getting a sound thrashing from the bride's relatives.The groom who lives in New York demanded more than Rs 50 lakh from the bride's family when he arrived with his wedding procession on Friday afternoon.The bride's family reacted by calling the police immediately, and for good measure beat up the groom and his party before the police led them away.

Meerut, Nov 6: One policeman was killed and several others injured when they tried to protect two grooms from angry villagers in Meerut district of Uttar Pradesh. The grooms - Latafat and Gafoor - and their wedding party were beaten up after they allegedly demanded dowry from the brides families. The angry villagers later exchanged fire with the police when it tried to intervene. The members of the party are being kept hostage. Reports say the angry villagers beat up Latafat and Gafoor and smeared their faces with black and red ink. According to the villagers, the father demanded a car and Rs 1 lakh in cash as dowry for each of his sons just before the ceremony began.